Opdateret: 14. juni 2019
Some of the biggest illusions I have to ruin right here is the belief that there is that one special person for you to spend the rest of your life with. This thought alone, is the best way to bring disappointment, sorrow, sadness, confusion and emptiness. It is the ego's best way to basically ruin your life. It's mission is: "Seek but do not find".
The reason for this is, that there is no "special person" out there, because either all of us are special or none of us are. We are all equal. The reason is also, that the meaning of "finding the one" is in other words; "finding the perfect person that behaves exactly like you want and gives you what you want and need". Then, when we find "the one" after a while, some things comes up to the surface, the ugly sides unfold, mistakes are made, and we think that oops, this must be the wrong person, because this person is not living up to my expectations, now I got to go to the next one.
In this way works the "Seek but do not find" mission. Because even when you met a good person, your love is limited and not unconditionally, because suddenly, you only love a person when they are good. Real love, is when you love a person even when the ugly parts comes up. Real love, is when no matter what challenges your relationship faces, you don't allow it to block or withold your love.
"Your task it not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." - A Course In Miracles
In other words, every time you get triggered in a relationship, it demonstrates where your limitation of giving love is. A trigger, shows you where you are wounded, limited and how big or small your capacity for love is. Because here, you build a barrier against love. In the end, it's never about what others do to you, but how you react to it. Same with life.
The funny thing is, when a person loves us perfectly and unconditionally, that alone is scary like hell, because we didn't believe that it was possible. Sometimes, we are so blunted that even love triggers us. It reminds us of the lack of love we may had earlier in life. This is another barrier you hold against the love you may recieve now.
So pleas dear fellow human, don't find love, because love is already there, always! You don't have to find, because the one you are meant to be with, is already and always connected to you on a soul level that you may not even be aware of. But this person can't arrive in your life, if you only give space to the ego's horrible laws. You are often blocking the possibility of miraculous relationships, because you think it has to be perfect from the beginning.
This is not true. All relationships are meaningful, and the transformation from a normal relationship to a holy relationship is when two people help each other grow. A holy miraculous relationship, is a relationship where two people meet along, just to share their happiness with each other, not to fill each others needs. A holy relationship, is when two people are a blessing to each other, and decide to walk a path together. It's the kind of relationship where two people get healed, by triggering each other and sometimes drive each other crazy, just to illuminate the places in us that are wounded and that needs reparation. Just to illuminate the barriers we hold against love.
To show where our limitations to love and forgiveness is, in order to exactly remove those limitations and love more strongly. The path to true and limitless unconditional love is a sacred process indeed, because every relationship is a spiritual assignment, where we get to work on such a deep inner journey where we evolve and become the highest and best versions of ourselves. This is basically what relationships are for - to help us love without limits, because only once we are capable to love without limites, no matter what others do or say to us, have we become healed, enlightened masters. This require a lot of grueling work, pain, tears, reality-kicks and strength but in the end - love.
Sometimes we automatically recreate those kind of situations that trigger us and pisses us off, because our soul is trying to show us exactly where we have to find a better way to react. Sometimes the best thing to do is to not react at all. Or to respond instead of react. Or ask instead of assume. The best we can do, when something is hurting and things need to be said, is to do it in a kind of way where it becomes a sharing of heart, rather than a discussion of hurt, victimization, attack and defense. Love will strengthen you, because every time you stay connected to love, you stay unaffected by other people's actions and words. See this is empowering! Your ego would normally tell you that you are a doormat that shows love even if somebody calls you a bitch. But actually, you become a doormat, when you get affected by other people's lovelessness, cause then you remain hurt, angry and suffer. I know it's incredibly different to respond to lovelessness with love, because we are so used to respond to attack with more attack, but that will just bury both of you down. In the end, the only thing that matters is love, and everything that is not love, is a call for love. In the end, love is an investment in self-interest. It is the best way to feel GREAT. But it requires experience to realize it's truth.
Love is not just coming from people, many don't realize that love is an incredible, miraculous, divine lifeforce. It's within us all. Connected to the universe, to God. Because we are all extensions of the universe. Of the stars <3
However, I'm not saying that if you are in a relationship you have to love and stay no matter what. If you are in a unhealthy and destructive relationship, you should of course not stay in it. But you will know, whether this is a soul you are meant to stay with or not. That doesn't mean, that you have to stop loving or forgiving neither. This is an important lesson too. Even if you are in a bad relationship, love is also the capability to say "no". Love for yourself, is to leave situations that litteraly damages you. Love, is to gently say to the person you are with, that you no longer will to stay in that relationship, but that you still forgive this person, and wish him or her the best. By leaving in a gentle, calm and loving way, you continue to love limitlessly, just in another form. In this way, you also create space for the right person to arrive.
So my biggest message here in general is:
Stop trying to find and seek the perfect person, because then you are most likely to end up alone. There is no perfect person, because we are all perfect souls. Our personality is a different matter, however. The best you can do, to attract the soul you are meant to be with, is actually by working on yourself first. Because if you can't stay with a person who makes a mistake once in a while, then you are not ready. If you scare people away with your character defects then maybe you should work on them too. If you hold barriers against love, whether it's based on insecurity, anger, anxiety or whatever, then you should work on that too. If you still have this crazy ego law in your head about the perfect woman or man to give YOU everything you want and expect, then get ready for loneliness.
The trick is, don't expect anything. Surrender your destiny to the universe. When you show trust to life, instead of obsessing about how to find the one and blocking this person to actually arrive in your life, this person will most likely arrive. The universe is also very generous, so don't worry, the universe knows your deepest wishes and will reward you when you trust, because the universe and destiny knows better than you, what you need. Even if you meet a person that will challenge you, it will probably be what you needed, in order to grow. If you worry about whether you will get what you wish for by putting your life in the hands of the universe, then just remember how bad it went when you relied on your ego.
One last thing:
A holy, sacred, miraculous relationship, is the one that helps us to grow to become the most glorious selves. In this sacred space, we share our blessings, our love and our happiness. And maybe your soulmate is not even someone you are supposed to marry! Maybe your soulmate is your daughter, your brother, your best friend or an animal!
So don't worry so much, love will always come to you, if you allow it.
We are not here to recieve love, we are only here to GIVE love. Recieving is meaningless, because you automatically recieve when you give. We can only feel who we are, when we extend love, because we are made of love. It is our natural divine legacy, and we only feel best when we feel happiness and love, and guess what, it's because it's our nature.
In love & light