Opdateret: 15. feb. 2022
Some of the biggest illusions I have to ruin right here is the belief that there is that one special person for you to spend the rest of your life with. This thought alone, is the best way to bring disappointment, sorrow, sadness, confusion and emptiness. It is the ego's best way to basically ruin your life. It's mission is: "Seek but do not find".
The reason for this is, that there is no "special person" out there, because either all of us are special or none of us are. We are all equal. The reason is also, that the meaning of "finding the one" is in other words; "finding the perfect person that behaves exactly like you want and gives you what you want and need". Then, when we find "the one" after a while, some things comes up to the surface, the ugly sides unfold, mistakes are made, and we think that oops, this must be the wrong person, because this person is not living up to my expectations, now I got to go to the next one.
In this way works the "Seek but do not find" mission. Because even if you met a good person, your love may be limited and not unconditional, because suddenly, you only love a person when they are what you expected and you get shocked when the ugly parts come up. In other words, you may unconsiously have high or unrealistic expectations and when they are not met, you may think that you have done a mistake getting together with that partner. However, we rarely know exactly which person could be the best match, for a period or forever. That's why it's better to let destiny unfold naturally and allow things to happen, rather than forcefully and obsessively seeking it.
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it's coming." - Rumi
Every time you get affected negatively in a relationship, it demonstrates where your limitation of giving love is. A trigger, shows you where you are wounded. In the end, it's never about what others do to you, but how you react to it. If you are strong enough to have understanding and compassion for a person that hurts you, you may be able to forgive this person and communicate from a place of emotional intelligense rather than through attack and defense.
This is key for maintaing a relationship when the shadows show up. Relationsships are here for pure healing. When we engage with a man or a woman through relationships, they represent both our mother and father psychologically because they become our main "love-provider". This is why childhood traumas may show up to the surface. Traumas from past relationships may show up too.
This will in many cases break relationships in the long run, if the partners are not consious enough or loving enough to heal each other. Through honest loving communication, so much inner healing can be done. That is the beauty of sacred relationships. Conflicts can actually lead to development and work as a "cleansing". Old wounds come up to the surface to be seen and heard (which can manifest in conflicts) and if dealt with conscously and lovingly, the feelings gets ventilated and the wounds gets aired and cleansed with love.
However, showing love and consideration in any given situation does not mean to accept any given situation. It is always important to put boundaries or leave a toxic relationship, just remember it is always possible to do so in a peaceful or loving way.
Sometimes we can also end up in a situation where a person loves us perfectly and unconditionally, which alone can be scary as hell, because we didn't believe that it was possible. Sometimes, we are so blunted that even love triggers us. It reminds us of the lack of love we may had earlier in life. It is a deep lesson in learning to recieve and working with selfworth. Re-learning that you deserve and are worthy of love.
All relationships are meaningful, and the transformation from a normal relationship to a holy relationship is when two people help each other grow. A holy miraculous relationship, is a relationship where two people meet along, just to share their happiness and-already-established-wholeness with each other, not to fill each others needs. A relationship should complement you, not complete you. You complete You. A holy relationship, is when two people are a blessing to each other, and decide to walk a path together and share the experience of life itself. It's the kind of relationship where two people get healed, by triggering each other and sometimes drive each other crazy, just to illuminate the places in us where we are wounded and need reparation and love.
The path to true and limitless unconditional love is a sacred process indeed, because every relationship is a spiritual assignment, where we get to work on such a deep inner journey where we evolve and get enlightened. This requires a lot of grueling work, pain, tears, reality-kicks and strength but in the end it will give us a sense of deep inner peace.
So don't worry so much, love will always come to you, if you allow it.
We can only feel who we are, when we extend love, because we are made of love. It is our natural divine legacy and it's our true nature.
In love & light